Our season has been turning here, from dry to soaking wet. While this is great for our garden, the ground is so muddy now that I’m afraid of slipping and falling. And that doesn’t even tackle the problem of the car not having enough grip. Last year we actually had it stuck in the mud. What a treat!
But I don’t actually want to talk about getting stuck in the mud today but rather about what it means to be stuck in life. While getting stuck in mud is annoying, it’s solvable with some tools. Getting stuck in life can be a bit trickier. And that’s where I am today.
When I think about being stuck in life, a couple of areas spring to mind: creativity, relationships, and career. There are more areas to get stuck in but I want to focus on these three today. Each of them is important and while I wish for you to be stuck in neither, life happens and we can find ourselves at a point where the goal isn’t in reach.
Being stuck creatively
I admit that that’s the area I feel stuck in at the moment, especially with regards to writing. I used to write every day but I somewhat lost that practice over the busy and beautiful summer months and haven’t been able to build it up again. And that’s where I’m at at the moment – trying to get back into a habit of writing every day.
There are a couple of things you can do to rekindle your creativity, from changing your environment to actively taking a break, but the one thing that works best for me is to make a conscious decision. I have made the decision to write every day, regardless of how ‘nice’ that writing is. I’ve moved my practice to the first thing in the morning and I will write every day without paying attention to perfection. It’s about getting back into the habit of doing it. That’s my sole purpose.
I use an accountability page that tracks my writing and ‘scolds’ me when I fail for a day. That’s a great motivation to get it done. But, I guess, an accountability partner would be much more effective.
I have started to collect ideas for writing more consciously. A virtual or literal pinboard is great for that. I use Trello but Pinterest, Evernote, pen and paper or any other tool would also work. As soon as something comes up, I write it down. That way I know where to turn to when I’m fresh out of ideas on what to write about.
Being stuck career-wise
One aspect of my life I have been working on very actively over the last few months is my career. Being stuck professionally might not seem like a big thing to some people. But, if you’re honest, it is. Our working hours make up most of our awake time during the day. If you are doing something that’s not meaningful, it can be detrimental to your self-confidence.
I, for myself, have decided to take matters into my own hands. I started a business of my own. But it doesn’t have to be so extreme. Even just evaluating what is going on and where you want to go professionally can be a great step in the direction of getting unstuck. The important part here is to realise your own responsibility for your life. If you feel stuck in a job you don’t like or a career that wasn’t your calling in the first place – do something. Don’t sit back and let life pass by.
Being stuck in relationships
The last area to get stuck in which I want to tackle here is relationships. And this area can be tricky because it affects other people, requires a lot of honesty with yourself on your behalf, and it can go against your approach in life of ‘being nice’.
When I think about relationships, I’m thinking about all the different kinds of relationships we build with other people: marriage, friendship, companionship, and acquaintances. Any of these kinds of relationships can benefit your life or make you feel less than happy. And that is where honesty comes in: how does person X make you feel? Empowered or disempowered? Loved or barely alive? Valued or like you don’t matter? Whatever the answer to every single person in your life, you will have to decide yourself of what to do about it.
I know that tackling relationships in that way is a very tough business and not everything might be in your control. What I really want to encourage you to do is to apply some honesty though: is that person really someone I want to keep in my life?
As I mentioned, these areas are the ones I’m thinking about at the moment. There are more and there is more to say but I want to leave it at that for the moment. The reason is simply that it can be overwhelming to turn your life around.
On that note and with a little self-promotion, I have decided to venture into coaching, helping individuals understand themselves. If you are interested in a little insight into yourself, get in touch.